The four things I need in a relationship are;
- Emotional support. Which I think can mean everything from listening to me when I need someone to rant to, or a shoulder to cry on.
- Intelligent conversation. I like to think and talk and discuss what I think about, and of course to be challenged.
- Physical touch. At least three hugs a day and sex on tap.
- Financial continuity. I am a planner and need to feel secure.
I have been thinking about this for sometime. Is any one more important than the others?
So in any relationship do I need all these things, can I make do with just three or even two?
Is there anything else I need?
Does everyone need the same things? I don’t know.
I have done a test, well no I have done three. Two said I’m INFJ and one said I’m INTJ.
Ok, so its pretty convincing the area of personality I belong, it’s just the Feeling/Thinking that seems to be equal or very close to it. So even when I have the means to explain my weird and slightly wacky brain I am still confused.
So I read ALL the info. My hundreds of Pintrest pins that clutter my thoughts, on how to tell if your one or other. So I think I am both, depending on the day, my mood and what’s going on around me. It’s not exact enough for me?
Oh my goodness that annoys me!
Because I can’t decide.
Am I special? I know we are all special in our own way, but am I particularly special?
I don’t think so.
But maybe its true because it’s not the first time it’s been said, still…….. not sure I believe it though.
I know many people who are special. People who have challenges and hurdles they have to face every day in life, I think I am lucky I don’t have any significant challenges or problems in my life.
I do like to think I go the extra little bit in everything I do. I always want to be the one who is there that little earlier or stay a little longer, or does that extra in any situation, the one to put their hand up to volunteer. But that is just who I am and the sense of duty I guess I have. Or perhaps a need to be thought well of by others, but I do doubt that because most people don’t notice and that doesn’t worry me at all.
So what makes someone think I am Special.
The only thing I can think of is that I do like to listen to others. I do think it’s very easy to just cruise through life, and for some people there isn’t a lot of human connection for them. So I do try to go out of my way and give of my time to others and listen, complement, and question, you learn so much, so maybe that’s it?
I don’t know, I am perplexed.
I was told this in confidence yesterday, which is an often occurrence for me. It has been continuously on my mind since, and I feel a need to do something about it, although there is nothing I can do.
I have a young relative, step niece to be exact. She is a lovely girl, introverted, lacks confidence and with a terrible taste in men. She had recently broken up with a guy who I thought wasn’t even close to good enough for her and so she is out dating again.
So she’s on tinder, as they all are. She has had a very bad experience with an utter animal. She has been injured physically, mentally and sexually.
So this makes me think many things;
- What in hell’s name is wrong with people.
- Why hasn’t she reported him to the police, she was drunk so there is a question of misplaced guilt I guess.
- Who is he and how can I make his life unbearable. This is my overriding thought.
- What was she doing not being in a group until she got to know him. Golden rule I would think, make sure you have friends who have your back if you are going to get drunk and do dumb shit!
- Technology makes it so easy for the scum in the world to survive and prosper.
This all happened a number of weeks ago and I am one of the few who know about it, she’s having counselling which is necessary.
I am feeling so angry and upset and I can’t talk about it because I have been told in confidence.
Winners expect to win in advance, life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This sounds very trite and cliché, but I do believe it, with a slight modification. I believe that it’s more a case of if you have the right mind-set you notice the positives in life and focus on those.
We all have people in our lives that are depressing and a challenge to be around, and I’m not suggesting that anyone can be up and on all of the time, but there are some people who seem to revel in misery. If you think Eeyore that sums it up!
Sometimes we have no choice in life but to live and work with these people, so how do I deal with this. Ignoring is my reaction of choice, jolly them along if I have the extra energy, and just occasionally I call them out on what they are saying. Does any of this help………………….well realistically no it doesn’t. But you have to do the best you can for your own sanity.
I like the sound of words, the feeling, shape, taste and roundness of them. Some words have colour or sound, not the sound of them being spoken but their own sound. Maybe its my own imagination but when I hear a word it’s not just the meaning of that word that attracts me to it.
Words don’t like me I have a lot of trouble with spelling, and frequently use words that are less sophisticated so I can spell them. I am eternally grateful for spell check and those wiggly red lines the appear continuously and consistently under my writing.
I am the owner of a number of dictionaries and thesauruses which I still use because sometimes it is easier to look something up rather than try to type something you have NO IDEA how to spell. The most annoying thing is to have someone come up beside you and say ” what are you trying to spell” well if I wanted to ask someone I would have already, I don’t need to feel any more of an idiot than I already do by asking you to spell “should” for me.
Most people use about 20,000 words, it sounds a lot, but I guess it probably isn’t, well if most people use that many I want to at least double that, and it would be even nicer if I could actually spell them!
a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.
I think I am stoic, not all the time of course, but it is my normal state.
Am I that way because of my personality or because I have learned to be that way. I think it may be a bit of both. My Mother is very stoic.
Do I want to be this way, well you know I don’t think I do, I think life may be easier if people were able to read me better. Can I change the way I am, I don’t think it is possible it’s just too ingrained in me.
I think for people who feel things deeply and completely they have to hide them otherwise they would get completely overwhelmed with life.